Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Stevens Maintains Innocence: Says He Never Met Ron, Nicole

Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, convicted of corruption charges, maintained his innocence to a hastily assembled Juneau, Alaska news conference, asserting powerfully that he "never even met Ron and Nicole. I'm not a killer, and I'm keeping my Senate seat."

Stevens claimed that he had never been to Brentwood, California and that he had never eaten at Mezzaluna Restaurant, and that he had never played in the NFL.

"I will appeal my conviction," Stevens declared, "and when it is overturned, I will devote the rest of my life to finding the true killers.

"I offer my condolences to the Goldman and Simpson families," Stevens said. "But I want to assure them that I am not culpable in this matter."

Reporters pointed out to Senator Stevens that he had not been convicted of double homicide but instead had been convicted of corruption.

"As I said," Senators Stevens replied, "I am not responsible for the deaths of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson and I will fight this miscarriage of justice to the bitter end. As a great man once said, "If I did not commit, then you must acquit."

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