Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Al-Jazeera, Citing Slipping Ratings, Renames Itself Al-Jarreau, Focuses On Soft Jazz

Al-Jazeera, the preeminent news voice of the Arab world, today announced that due to ratings pressure, it was changing its name to Al Jarreau and focusing on soft jazz.

"People are tired of war," spokesman Ali Hashemi told a hastily assembled Damascus news conference. "They want nice music they can have on in the background while they work or raise their kids. Our new format, Al Jarreau, should be very enticing to a growing audience."

Hashemi said that "while we will occasionally break for news updates, we will offer a steady, comforting flow of music like Kenny G., the Blue Knights, and Grady Nichols, along with traditional favorites like Chuck Mangione and, of course, our new namesake, Al Jarreau.

"Maybe we can't bring peace to the Middle East," Hashemi told reporters. "But we at least we can bring peace to the radio dial."

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