Buffalo Bills Let T.O. Into Their Bedroom, Claiming Owens Promises Not To “Take Advantage"

The Buffalo Bills today let former Dallas Cowboy, San Francisco 49er, and Philadelphia Eagle Terrell Owens into their bedroom today “just to sleep and to be friends,” claiming that “Owens promised he would not take advantage or do anything bad.”

Bills General Manager Russ Brandon told a hastily assembled if sparsely attended Buffalo news conference “Owens said he would be a perfect gentleman and that he wouldn’t try anything. He said we could trust him, and that nothing will happen.”

Brandon told both reporters present that “Just because Terrell has had some accusations against him in the past doesn’t mean he won’t behave honorably. We think he respects us and will just look for a quick kiss goodnight but won’t ask for anything more than that.”

Brandon also said that “contrary to published reports, the Buffalo Bills still do play in the National Football League and that Buffalo in fact is in America, and we do have telephone and Internet, so people will be able to find out what happens with T.O., the same day it happens.”