Distraught, Dyslexic Hefner Girlfriend, 28, Thought Hef, 82, "Was My Age"

Holly Madison, 28, until recently the "primary girlfriend" of Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner, discovered to her horror that Hef was not her age but was actually 82 years old.

"Dyslexia can really mess up your whole life," Madison told a hastily assembled Bel Air, California news conference. "I thought I read that Hef was 28. I had no idea he was 82. I can't believe I was planning children and a future with him!""

Madison admitted that "Hef looked old for a 28-year-old when I first met him, but I thought he had bad skin or did a lot of drugs or something like that. He didn't have a job or anything, so I figured he was maybe a drug dealer or something."

Madison said friends tried to tell her that Hefner had begun publishing Playboy Magazine back in the 1950s, but she thought they were "just jealous. I mean, the guy has this huge house, and he's only 28. I thought if he wasn't a drug dealer, he was a trust fund baby. So often in L.A., if you're one, you're the other."

Madison said that Hefner took the news of the break-up "calmly. He thanked me for my honesty, and then he wanted to know which one I was. I wasn't sure how to take that."

Madison told reporters that her dyslexia was so bad that her favorite sexual position was 96 and that any man who could give her "01 inches" was to contact her via her website, NosidamylloH.com.