“We can no longer hold the Zionists responsible for controlling the banking system,” a perplexed, clearly disappointed Don Smith, marketing director for Aryan Fatherlands told a hastily arranged Boise, Idaho news conference.
“Now that the banking system is in the hands of the government,” Smith said, “and we like the government as little as we like the Zionists, our research indicates that the Jews are responsible for global warming.”
Smith said that his website offered “incontrovertible evidence” that Jews had “raised the temperature of the planet by 2 degrees in the last 20 years, since the birth of the Zionist State of Israel.”
Smith pointed to greenhouse gases created by “endless arguing in the Israeli Congress, which they call the Knesset” as the key factor in “melting the polar icecaps, the glaciers in Montana and Alaska, and ruining the trout fishing in Ketchum and Pocatello.”
The Aryan Fatherlands, according to its website, supports “Detaching the Pacific Northwest from the Zionist-controlled United States of America, increasing pride in being Caucasian, even if you don’t even have a high school-level education, and opposing the Zionist-controlled sports teams based in New York and New Jersey.” The group also runs a small amusement park outside Sun Valley called “HateWorld.”
“To be honest,” Smith said, “it’s kind of like the end of the Cold War for us. We’re kind of groping for a new reason to exist. I mean, if you can’t blame the Zionists for controlling the banking system, then it’s going to kill our fundraising.
“If we can’t get this blame-the-Zionists-for-global-warming thing off the ground, we’re just a bunch of white guys who’d rather be fishing, who actually might just need to get real jobs. Well, I blame the Zionists for that.”
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