In what comes as an unwelcome surprise to many Americans, the federal government today admitted that it can see you websurfing through a new CIA surveillance program, Web ICU2.0.
“We’re really trying to catch terrorists,” CIA spokesman Ed Grievers told a hastily assembled Langley, Virginia news conference. “But we sure see a lot of people shall we say deeply and personally involved with online porn.”
Grievers said he understood that the government watching people surf the Internet represented “a potentially grave threat to civil liberties, but there was no Internet when the Bill of Rights was written, so we see it as a grey area.”
Grievers said that all laptops and most desktop computers built since 2005 contained hidden cameras embedded in the computer screens, allowing government workers “practically unfettered access to the Internet use of practically every American, all of which we duly record on our servers.”
In the past, Griever noted, Internet privacy issues extended only to questions of tracking users’ Web histories. “This is a whole new ballgame,” he said. “You really may want to wear a mask or a scarf over your face if you don’t want people to see you looking at certain things online.”
The CIA has been secretly developing ICU2.0 since the 9/11 attacks and was able to introduce the tiny cameras into computer screens without knowledge of computer manufacturers.
“I have to admit watching people online distracts us from the war on terror,” Grievers said, “but man, it’s fun.”
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It's now possible through software developed by my company, MacraDura, to reverse the camera and spy on the C.I.A. Amazingly, it seems they only employ left handed people there as their right hands are never seen.
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