Massive Write-Ins For Hitler Indicate Continuing Problems In Florida Balloting

More than 837 "early voting" ballots from predominantly Jewish precincts in Palm Beach County, Florida all contained write-in votes for Adolf Hitler for U.S. President, indicating that irregularities and errors may still be affecting Presidential voting in the Sunshine State.

"Adolf Hitler is ineligible to become President," Florida Election Commission spokesperson Jessica Katz told reporters, "because he is foreign-born and because he is dead. The fact that so many Jewish people appear to have cast their ballots for Mr. Hitler indicates that we may still have some problems in the voting process."

In 2000, the so-called "Butterfly Ballot" led to many Jews mistakenly casting their ballots for Republican Party candidate Pat Buchanan, "whom many Jews view as one step up, or one step down, from Mr. Hitler," Ms. Katz told reporters.

"We're working on fixing the problem," Ms. Katz added. "We know that the system is broken throughout the state. That's because we also have reports of large numbers of rural, white, working class Floridians casting their early ballots for Barack Obama.

"We don't want our state to be the laughingstock of the nation," Ms. Katz concluded. "Although with a choice as weak as McCain and Obama, we think that people have a lot more than Florida that they ought to be worrying about."