Palin: Vote For McCain Or I’ll Shoot This Caribou

Republican Vice Presidential candidate today held a 1,200 pound female caribou named Mary at rifle point and told reporters that if Americans didn’t vote for John McCain, the caribou would get it “right between the eyes.”

Palin, wearing a Givenchy gown and Manolo Blahnik strappy sandals, along with a 12 carat tiara, her hair and makeup done to perfection, told a hastily assembled Anchorage, Alaska news conference that she was “sorry it’s come to this. But either McCain wins or Mary becomes a trophy in the Governor’s Office.”

Political observers had expected the McCain/Palin campaign to come out swinging in the last days of the campaign, but none of them expected Palin to take as a hostage a doe-eyed, gentle caribou that had never caused the slightest bit of trouble to humans, according to published reports.

Palin said that she would keep her rifle trained on Mary the caribou “until our poll numbers improve.”