President George W. Bush today declined to give President-elect Barack Obama any specifics about national security or economic issues, instead offering Obama his extensive collection of Presidential-looking blue ties.
“I always wear a blue tie with little sparkly patterns when I’m meeting foreign leaders,” President Bush told Obama at a hastily assembled White House photo op. “Foreign leaders, especially ones from really tiny little countries, get kind of Mesmerized by sparkly patterns.”
“When I meet with Congress,” President Bush continued, “I prefer a light blue tie, because the light tie seems very conciliatory. If I meet with business leaders, I go with a bold blue tie, maybe with stripes, to indicate my support for the free market system.”
President-elect Obama repeatedly tried to interrupt the President’s lecture about ties with questions about al Qaeda, the banking crisis, and the Israeli-Palestinian peace talks, but President Bush appeared to be more comfortable talking about neckwear, according to reporters.
“Brooks Brothers makes nice ties,” the President told the President-elect, “but I like Italian ties because they’re a little snazzier. And you don’t have to worry about the whole made-in-America thing. Every tie is made in China or maybe Vietnam, which is ironic, because people don’t even wear ties in those countries, unless they’re going to meet some American business people.”
President-elect Obama asked President Bush a question about the bailout of the banking industry.
“I’ll give you a little hint,” the President said. “Always have a Secret Service agent carry an extra blue tie, along with the nuclear codes. Because it’s more likely that you’ll spill some pasta sauce on your tie than have to blow up the former Soviet Union.”
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