Republican Presidential candidate John McCain, trailing in the polls even in many reliably red states, today told a hastily assembled Rockefeller Center news conference that there was "nothing humiliating" about trivializing his entire career with his pre-election appearance on Saturday Night Live.
"I kind of enjoyed it," McCain said. "They gave me a script and I read someone else's words. I understand a lot of politicians do that all the time."
McCain angrily denied reporters' insinuations that his campaign was so far behind Obama's that he had to "humiliate himself and prostitute his record as a serious individual" by appearing on the NBC comedy program.
"Clinton played sax on Arsenio Hall and Schwartneggar announced his candidacy for the governor of California on Leno," McCain pointed out. "I'm just following in a noble tradition of candidates showing their lighter sides."
Reporters pointed out to McCain that those appearances took place early in the campaigns of those other candidates and that his QVC spoof on Saturday Night Live "had the air of desperation."
"I'm not desperate," McCain insisted, sounding desperate. "In fact, our tracking polls revealed that we picked up at least half a point among voters too dumb to know the difference between Saturday Night Live and The CBS Evening News With Katie Couric. And that's a lot of voters."
McCain said that there was nothing "pathetic, undignified or demeaning about seeing my entire Presidential campaign reduced to third-rate comedy." He added that "world leaders were not likely to see the broadcast anyway, because the show comes on so late, so it wouldn't damage my standing as a statesman."
If today's poll numbers continue to reflect an "SNL bounce," McCain concluded, he would "take a pie in the face in Ohio, wear big floppy clown shoes at a campaign appearance in Virginia, and campaign in Florida with Andrew 'Dice' Clay, Jackie Mason, and Shecky Green."
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