Palin: I Will Lead GOP Down To Horrific Defeat In 2012

In a hastily assembled Anchorage, Alaska news conference, former Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin today promised to lead her party to “horrific defeat” as its Presidential standard-bearer in 2012.

“There is a void in Republican Presidential politics,” Palin told reporters, “and I’m not just talking about George W. Bush.

“Republicans need a leader they can count on to take the party down to flaming, horrific electoral defeat in the next Presidential election,” she said. “I am that person.”

Palin pointed to the McCain campaign’s inability to detach itself from President Bush’s tattered legacy of war and financial crisis, as well as its failure to fully demonize Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama’s pastor and old friends, as reasons for its massive defeat at the polls last week.

“By 2012,” Palin said, “Obama will have gotten us out of Iraq, ended the banking crisis, and restored prosperity and pride at home and abroad. Someone is going to have to challenge him on a platform of mindless criticism, baseless allegations, and borderline racial innuendo that appeals to the conservative base.

“I intend to be that person.”

When asked by reporters whether Palin was motivated, at least in part, by the possibility of another shopping spree at Neiman-Marcus and other high end stores she had never heard of prior to the 2008 campaign, the Alaska governor offered a terse “no comment.”