People In Foreign Countries Continue To Kill Each Other In Large Numbers For No Apparent Meaningful Reason

Dashing hopes that the new millenium would end horrific violence in war-torn nations around the world, individuals and political groups continued to kill each other in large numbers this weekend, for reasons that appeared trivial to everyone except those doing the killing.

"We are killing our enemies and God's enemies," Hamil Farbeshun, a spokesman for all of the people and groups on the planet committed to senselessly slaughtering their neighbors and total strangers. "What we are doing is good."

Farbeshun said that across the world, "people were seeking to do very bizarre things, like live in peace with their neighbors, earn a living, and raise their children. We believe people like that need to be killed."

Farbeshun said that a "loose alliance" of violent, blood-thirsty individuals and groups across the planet had declared November "International Killing Month" and had set quotas of killing "thousands, if not millions of people worldwide."

Human rights groups, the United Nations, and anyone with half a brain in his head deplored the killings, a fact that "meant nothing" to Farbeshun.

"All these people busy running around deploring what they call senseless violence aren't here in the trenches with us," he said. "If they could only see the innocent people we find so annoying, just spend one day with us, I'm sure they'd start killing, too."