Friday, August 14, 2009

Mel Gibson Blames Girlfriend's Pregnancy On The Jews

Movie star Mel Gibson today told a hastily assembled Malibu press conference that the real reason his girlfriend was pregnant was "because of the Jews."

Gibson told reporters that Oksana Grigorieva, 39, had become pregnant "not through my efforts but through some sort of divine intervention. I think the Jews had never really forgiven me for my outburst that time I got arrested. So when Oksana came along, it was payback time."

Gibson denied that he was anti-Semitic and said he had "great respect" for certain Jews, especially those who managed his investment portfolio and were handling his divorce.

Other Jews, however, Gibson pointed out, "have a history of, you know, causing pregnancy without, you know, sex. All I can say, if you read the Bible, is what happened to me isn't the first time."

Gibson and Grigorieva are not planning to marry at this time.

"There's a slim possibility that Oksana is Jewish," Gibson told reporters. "A lot of Russians are and either don't know it or won't admit it. So I'm still doing my research before I make any commitments."

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