Spokesman for Kennedy Family Says Chappaquidick References Are “Tasteless”

“Reminding people that the late, great Senator Edward M. Kennedy got drunk and abandoned a woman to drown, at a time of adulation and reverence not seen since the tragic passing of Lady Di, is tasteless,” Nelson Kefiddle, a spokesman for the Kennedy family, told a hastily assembled Hyannisport news conference.

“Letting younger generations know that the man they look up to as the conscience of the Senate and the champion of the underprivileged was married at the time he drove drunk and caused the death of an innocent young woman, who was not his wife, really is not the height of good taste,” Kefiddle told reporters.

“Bringing up the fact that a man honored today as a paragon of justice was never brought to justice for the death he caused, and did not even receive a DUI or even a traffic violation, because he was rich and powerful, whereas if you or I had committed the same crime, we would still be in state prison, getting our salads tossed by Bobo, is just inappropriate and regrettable,” Kefiddle added.

“I mean, singling out Ted Kennedy for remembering his act of absolute inhumanity, not to mention an affront to marriage, not just his but all of ours, at a time when other celebrities like Michael Jackson get a free pass, is totally unjustifiable,” Kefiddle told reporters. “After all, nobody died at Neverland.”