Struggling Red Sox Activate Tom Seaver, Gaylord Perry, Juan Marichal, Bob Feller, And The Late Cy Young

The struggling Boston Red Sox, barely keeping pace with the Texas Rangers in the race for the wild card in the American League, have activated 14 former league pitchers including Tom Seaver, Gaylord Perry, Bob Feller, and the late Cy Young in an effort to keep from falling into baseball oblivion.

"We're doing everything we can," Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein told a hastily assembled Boston news conference. "These guys are major leaguers and in some cases Hall of Famers. We're just looking for them to eat up some innings so we can get to Papelbon and have a chance."

Epstein said that "the fact that some of these guys are dead is an impediment, but not an impossibility. I mean, even dead guys can surely do better than Brad Penny and John Smoltz."