Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, kicking off an unofficial bid for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination, today recommended offshoring America's working class, starting with her husband Todd.
"The work has gone offshore, so let the working class follow," Palin told a hastily assembled Beverly Hills, California news conference. "And let my husband Todd lead the parade."
Palin, who recently bought herself a $5 million Beverly Hills estate, $1 million worth of jewels, and $3 million worth of Bowie knives, from the proceeds of the sale of the rights to her first book, denied that money has changed her attitudes toward working people.
"I never liked them," Palin admitted to reporters. "They're always so...busy. Working. Commuting. Complaining. I say that America is for Americans who can afford America. And if you can't afford to be here, go pick another country to live in."
Palin denied that she wanted to establish "worker panels" to determine which unemployed American workers had the lowest likelihood of finding a new job.
"That's a terrible rumor," she said, "although it would be a great thing if we could get our country down to, say, 200 million, which would cover the number of people in the United States who actually have jobs."
Palin also denied reports that her first action as President would be to issue an Executive Order sending her husband Todd to a fishing trawler fleet in Northern Siberia.
"Todd who?" Palin asked reporters, cupping a hand around her ear. "I don't know anyone named Todd. At least, I thought I knew him. Next question?"
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