China, Facing Economic Collapse, Changes Lucky Number From 8 To 6

“To tell the truth, we really haven’t been that lucky with number 8,” Chinese Communist Party spokesman Lin Biau admitted to a hastily arranged Beijing news conference, “so we’re changing to 6.”

For millennia, the Chinese have considered the number 8 a symbol of good luck. The Olympics began on 8/8/2008, Mr. Lin pointed out, and were very successful, “but otherwise in Chinese history, we feel lucky number 8 has let us down.”

Mr. Lin pointed to a series of historical events that brought “grave misfortune” on China, including the Era of the Warring States in 453-221 B.C., the collapse of the Ming and Ching Dynasties, the war with Japan in the 1930s, the Cultural Revolution, and the current economic meltdown as evidence that “the number 8 isn’t nearly as lucky as we hoped for thousands of years that it might be.”

The Chinese economy, for years a juggernaut due to increased exports and high spending in coastal zones, is “in freefall,” Mr. Lin admitted, due to the worldwide recession.

“Factories are closing, people are losing their jobs, and even the police are rioting because they are going unpaid,” Mr. Lin told reporters. “Hey, 8, where are you hiding? What kind of good luck are you?

“Nothing,” Mr. Lin concluded in disgust. “From now on, our lucky number is 6. On lottery tickets, in pai gow, and for events like weddings and state occasions. It’s going to be 6 all the way. To indulge in a Western play on words, we feel that 8 is over-8-d.”