Sony announced it would launch its online "virtual world", a 3-D social networking service while at the same time discontinuing its presence in the real world because "The real world sucks."
Kenny Matsunaga, a spokesman for Sony, told a hastily assembled Tokyo news conference that "the real world is too depressing to inhabit, so we're bailing out. No more workers, no more offices, no more jobs. No more real anything."
Home, the online world intended to support Sony's PlayStation video-game console, will be "the last remaining remnant of Sony's footprint anywhere--in cyberspace or in reality. The economy, the Iraq War, poverty in Africa--why would anybody want to stay in the real world?
"We know that Home was meant only for gaming," Matsunaga said. "But after we built it, we realized it was so much better than the real world, and with the right access codes, you can do anything in it that you can do with real people, no matter how much of a geek you are. So it's basically goodbye reality, hello virtual world. It's kind of corporate suicide, and we understand that, but we think we're going to a better place."
Matsunaga wiped a tear from his eye. "We're not just leaving planet Earth," he told reporters. "We're going Home."
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