South African golfer Tim Clark today delivered a tearful apology to an angry, hasily assembled Phoenix news conference for defeating Tiger Woods, 3 and 2, in the ongoing Accenture match play tournament.
"I got so caught up in my round that I forgot to lose," Clark admitted. "[PGA Commissioner Tim] Finchem had visited me in my hotel room prior to the match and reminded me that my job was to lose--maybe to keep it close if I could, but basically to lose. And I forgot."
Clark said that a furious Finchem had berated him in the scoring tent after the round and threatened to revoke his Tour card unless he disqualified himself, penalized himself enough strokes to lose the match, or fail to sign his scorecard, which would be grounds for defeat.
"I was so upset by what Mr. Finchem said," Clark explained, through tears, "that I didn't have the composure to take any of the, um, suggestions he offered. I signed my scorecard, which was accurate, and I guess that was it for Tiger."
Without Woods in the weekend matches, Clark told reporters, "watching the rest of us play golf is like watching paint dry. I'm sure the ratings will go right into the toilet."
Clark said that he was "too distraught" to play any more rounds over the weekend and planned to spend his time "getting drunk as a skunk with John Daly, that is, if I can find him. America, you wanted to spend the weekend watching Tiger. I [messed] up. Forgive me if you can."
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