"No one knows why we're there, who we're fighting, or how to tell if we've won," President Barack Obama today told a hastily assembled Washington, D.C. news conference. "The people at CIA say that all the people who remember why we went to war there have all retired. They think it had something to do with 9/11."
Obama told reporters that "While the CIA can't remember what exactly the war in Afghanistan is all about, they say that it's probably important that we stay and fight. But they don't know who we should be fighting. I think some people with turbans or something."
Obama said that "everybody at CIA is very enthusiastic about the war, even though no one in Afghanistan seems to know anything about 9/11. They don't even know where New York City is on a map.
"So we'll stay and fight until someone remembers why we're fighting. I'm sure there's a very good reason."
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