NBA forward LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers was voted "Dullest Superstar Ever" by a special committee of NBA athletes, reporters and fans, NBA Commissioner David Stern announced at a hastily assembled Phoenix, Arizona news conference.
James received the DSE award for his lackluster personality, unmemorable TV commercials, lack of drama or even interest in his personal life, and workmanlike but uninspiring world-class level of play, at a special half-time ceremony at the NBA All-Star Game Sunday night.
"I would like to thank the fans for acknowledging that I am the dullest superstar ever," James told the crowd at the nationally televised game, although most of the crowd missed the speech, since they were standing in line for beer and popcorn at the concession stands ringing the arena.
A special tribute to James's life, posted on YouTube and featuring no championship rings, no TV ads that had entered the public consciousness, and no intriguing nicknames, girlfriends, or altercations outside bars or strip clubs, had attracted 11viewers, most of them from James' family, as of last night.
"I can't think of a better choice for this award," Commissioner Stern told reporters. "In fact, I can't think of a single thing that stands out about James, aside from the fact that he plays basketball well. So do a lot of guys. Why am I here?"
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