Michael Phelps: “I Thought I Was Taking HGH”

Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps told a hastily assembled Manhattan news conference that when he posed for a photo while taking drugs, he thought the drug he was taking was human growth hormone.

“I would never take marijuana,” he told reporters. “That would set a bad example to young people. But HGH is really cool, and I couldn’t have set these records in the Olympics without it.”

Phelps said that “making a youthful error like smoking pot in front of a camera is something I would never do. On the other hand, I need to tell everyone that they can swim faster or compete better in any sport with HGH. I thought that’s what I was inhaling at that party.

“It turns out that you can’t inhale HGH,” Phelps said. “That was my youthful mistake. So I urge the youth of America, if they want to swim like me, to know what they’re snorting or inhaling, if they want to get bigger, faster, or stronger. And whatever they do, don’t take anything when someone’s taking pictures.”