Thursday, February 5, 2009

Heroic US Air Pilot Charged With Cruelty To Animals

Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, the heroic captain of doomed USAir flight 1549, which he landed safely in the Hudson River, was charged today with mistreatment of animals after FAA and Audubon Society officials determined that his jet sucked six bald eagles and a protected species of cormorant into its engines after takeoff from LaGuardia Airport.

“You can’t kill birds and get away with it, not in this town,” said Assistant U.S. Attorney Ed Bamberger told a hastily assembled Lower Manhattan news conference.

The penalty for killing bald eagles and protected cormorants, Bamberger said, is up to five years in prison and a fine of up to $125,000.

“He may be a hero to some,” Bamberger told reporters, “but to us he’s just another bird killer. And we’re going to throw the book at him.”

In a related story, US Air announced it would provide 6 SkyMiles to each passenger, since that was the actual distance the jet flew from La Guardia Airport to its landing in the Hudson off Lower Manhattan.

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