Google's New Phone Will Have Conversations Without You Even On The Phone

Google's new telephone, the T-Mobile HTC G1, is so technologically advanced that it will conduct phone conversations even without the owner being on the call, according to a Google spokesman.

"Our new advanced voice recognition technology," Google spokesperson Fred Tratner told a hastily assembled Mountain View, California news conference, "means that you'll be able to do even more, because the phone is so smart that it doesn't need you."

The Google Phone, Tratner said, will review your previous conversations with your most frequently called numbers, along with your Internet search data, spending habits, and information about your credit rating, personal possessions, and sex life, and make calls, sounding just like you, to other people.

"What's new about our phone," Tratner told reporters, "is that it makes the owner really unnecessary. The biggest holdup in technology, quite frankly, is the end-user. With our new phone, after you've programmed it, you aren't needed. It'll call your friends, arrange dates, pick out movies for you, apply for jobs, and for those who need the feature, attend 12 Step meetings on your behalf. All you have to do is pay the bill."

Tratner said that the unique feature that sets the Google Phone apart is that "even if the owner of the phone dies, the Google Phone can keep on living for you, forever. Surviving the death of the phone's owner--now, that's what Google calls the ultimate killer app."