U.S. Banking System To Collapse Thursday, Bernanke Tells Congress, Signaling “End Of A Great Run” And Return To Barter Economy

The U.S. Banking system is scheduled to collapse Thursday at approximately 8:45 EDT, according to Federal Reserve Chair Ben Bernanke, who told a hastily assembled Congressional hearing that the moment would represent “the end of a great run” and the return of the barter system.

“It was great while it lasted,” Bernanke told Congress. “But it’s the old story—pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered. And the banking system over the last decade or so has been a bunch of hogs at the trough.”

Bernanke urged all Americans to avoid the temptation to stampede ATM machines or bank branches “because U.S. currency is likely to have little value after Thursday morning. It’s not even especially decorative.”

Instead, he suggested that Americans stock up on food, water, fuel, wood, batteries, assault weapons and ammunition, and “for those living in the Northeast, sleeping bags and heavy sweaters.”

Bernanke said that with the collapse of the banking system and the plummeting value of the U.S. dollar, martial law would be in effect from “approximately 9 a.m. Thursday” to decrease the amount of “looting and pillaging that is anticipated.”

The Fed Chair also said that buildings formerly housing banks would be now transformed into “barter centers,” so that people could “grow their own vegetables and exchange them for children’s clothing and other necessary goods.”

Bernanke told Congress that only “essential government operations” would continue after the banking system shuts down, “but since there won’t be an economy, we won’t need a government.”

He said that he and the rest of the federal government wished all Americans, especially those hit hardest by Hurricane Ike and related storms, “good luck.”