Kanye West: I’m Not Just A Rapper, I’m An Airline

“You heard of America West?” Kanye West told a hastily assembled El Segundo, California news conference after his arrest following a fracas at a security line at nearby LAX. “Well, I’m Kanye West. I’m not just a rapper, I’m an airline. You can’t arrest an airline.”

West and his business manager allegedly attacked a paparazzo photographer and grabbed an $10,000 videocamera, throwing it to the ground and destroying it, prompting a melee that led to the highly regard rapper’s arrest.

“Airline personnel should not be subject to attacks by paparazzi,” West told reporters. “People don’t know this about me, but I am an airline. I have jets. I have flight attendants. I have gates at airports. I have TSA workers. I should not be subjected to this kind of treatment.”

When asked by reporters where Kanye West, the airline, flew, Kanye West, the rapper, responded, “We fly wherever we want to. We have schedules and everything. Our passengers expect the best. The same way I don’t expect to be hassled going through airports.

“In fact,” Kanye West, the rapper (not the airline) said, “this whole episode was a misunderstanding. We were testing security approaches for our airline with this whole thing, and it just got out of hand. It’s not a scuffle between police and a rap star. It’s a test run for security procedures for my new airline.”

West said that Kanye West will begin offering flights to the public “as soon as I get out of jail.”