Schwarzeneggar Transforms Self Into Giant Gavel-Like Superhero To Pass California Budget

California Governor Arnold Schwarzeneggar broke a Sacramento state budget deadlock by transforming himself into a giant gavel-like superhero called “Gavelman.”

Schwarzeneggar drew on his movie star persona in order to craft the new role of Gavelman, a giant gavel that slammed down on various California State Senators and Assembly people, maiming or killing them because they stood in the way of the passing of a state budget acceptable to the budget.

“Gavelman”, a 15-foot high gavel with superhuman powers, raced onto the Senate floor as Wagner-like music was piped through the sound system, terrified legislators with its gravelly voice, steely demeanor, and dramatic musculature.

Senators, assembly people, and legislative aids ran in horror from the chambers, as Gavelman went around yelling, in a thick Austrian accent, “Smash the Girly-men! Smash the Girly-men!”

In a scene reminiscent of Schwarzeneggar’s greatest movies like The Terminator, Conan the Barbarian, and a particularly violent outtake from Twins, Gavelman targeted for ultimate destruction 11 State Assemblypersons and 14 State Senators whose opposition to Schwarzeneggar’s budget concepts had been particularly intractable.

After the carnage ceased, Gavelman stood in the well of the Assembly chamber and shouted, echoing Schwarzeneggar’s classic line from The Running Man, “I’m not into politics, I’m into survival.”

Unfortunately for Schwarzeneggar, the number of injured and killed Assemblypeople and State Senators were so high that it was impossible for either house to create a quorum, thus dooming the Governor’s budget to oblivion.

Gavelman, disappointed, shrugged off his defeat, informing the stunned, surviving lawmakers, “I’ll be back.”