GIBSON: Governor Palin, thank you for being here to talk about foreign policy.
GOV. PALIN (crossing and uncrossing her legs like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct): My pleasure, Charles.
GIBSON (sounding distracted): That’s very distracting.
GOV. PALIN: Oh, sorry.
GIBSON: Governor, people want to know that you have the capability of dealing with foreign policy issues while--
GOV. PALIN (into cellphone): You felt the baby kicking? That’s awesome, honey! Listen, I gotta call you back. I’m live on ABC. Watch me!
GIBSON: Governor Palin?
GOV. PALIN: Sorry, Charles. You were saying.
GIBSON: Yes, foreign policy issues. First of all, Afghanistan…
GOV. PALIN: Afghanistan. A-F-G-H-A-N-I-S-T-A-N. Afghanistan.
GIBSON: Um, that’s right. I was going to ask you…but our time is limited. Let’s turn to the subject of Iran’s nuclear capabilities.
GOV. PALIN: Nuclear. N-U-C-L-E-A-R. Nuclear.
GIBSON (taken aback slightly): That’s correct, Governor. I was going to ask you about the President of Iran--
GOV. PALIN: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. M-A-H-M-O-U-D A-H-M-A-D-I-N-E-J-A-D. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Hang on, Charles. It’s my husband….Yeah, sweetie…listen, I’m on the air…what’s that..a 42-pound sockeye salmon? Aren’t they out of season? Okay, I won’t tell anyone…oh, sweetie, I forgot, I’m being interviewed. Put on channel 7. Love you!
GIBSON: Governor Palin, if this is a bad time…
GOV. PALIN: Not at all, Charles. The American people need to know that a Vice President can multitask. Please go ahead.
GIBSON (unusually nonplussed): Let’s move on to North Korea and the issue of succession regarding Kim Jong-Il.
GOV. PALIN: Who’s she?
GIBSON: Who’s who?
GOV. PALIN: Kim someone. You just said her name.
GIBSON: Kim Jong-Il is the President of North Korea.
GOV. PALIN: I have a friend named Kim. She’s a librarian in Wasilla. Hey, Kim! Charles, can I shout out to my friend Kim? The American people want to know that a Vice President can still maintain her down-to-earth ties to the little people she’s leaving far, far behind.
GIBSON: I don’t see why not. But getting back to North Korea…
GOV. PALIN: I can’t do that. I’ve never been. North Korea’s in Asia. Look, Charles. North Korea has been our strategic partner and ally for sixty years. And I think they’d sell a lot more Kias in Alaska if they could go on snow and didn’t look so dinky.
GIBSON: That would be South Korea. They make Kias in South Korea.
GOV. PALIN: Well, if they’re making Kias in South Korea and North Korea, why can’t they just be one country? I mean, they make Saturns in South Carolina and North Carolina, and I don’t see those two states going to war. Not with each other.
GIBSON (obviously flustered): Governor Palin, North Korea is our enemy. South Korea is our ally.
GOV. PALIN: Why do we even need two Koreas, anyway? Aren’t they both the size of Delaware? Delaware. D-E-L-A-W-A-R-E. Delaware.
GIBSON: We’ll be back after this.
GOV. PALIN: Is it over?
GIBSON: It’s over.
GOV. PALIN (snippy): Look, Charles, I’m not going to pull a George Bush and walk off the set, but I’ve found your whole attitude a little less than admirable this whole time. You’ve been trying to trip me up since I sat down. Look. The American people couldn’t care less about foreign policy. They know I don’t know much about it, and they don’t care. If you’re so smart, let’s see you get nominated for something.
GIBSON: --
GOV. PALIN: See? No TelePrompter, nothing from your mouth. You know what the difference is between a TV reporter and a pit bull? Pancake makeup and a nice suit. See ya.
GIBSON: --
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