Search Party “Deeply Concerned”; Still No Sign Of Obama

A search party sent out shortly after Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s landmark acceptance speech has failed to find any trace of Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama, according to reports.

“We’re deeply concerned,” said Democratic National Committee spokesperson Charlotte Brand. “He’s got to be somewhere. But it’s a big country, and since Palin’s speech, no one has seen even him once.”

Brand noted that in the wake of Obama’s acceptance speech in front of 85,000 wildly cheering Democrats at the Convention in Denver last week, the Illinois Senator seemed to be “everywhere. You couldn’t turn on a TV without seeing his face, his family, or commentators speculating on how Obama-mania has swept the nation. But since Palin spoke, the guy just vanished into thin air.”

The DNC will be placing Obama’s face on milk cartons as well as those blue-and-white postcards showing kidnapped children, Brand said.

“We’ll also be broadcasting his picture on the news,” Brand said, “to remind people of what he looked like the last time he had any media attention. That is, if we can even get a TV network to spare a few minutes from coverage of Sarah Palin and her family.

“It’s really bizarre,” Brand told reporters. “I mean, a guy goes from being the story of the century to a story that just feels so last-century. We just hope that wherever Obama is, he’s being well treated and that he’s comfortable. Where he went, though, is just a mystery to us.”

Reporters pointed out that Obama had been seen interviewed by Bill O’Reilly on Thursday night, after the acceptance speech of Sarah Palin’s running mate, an elderly white male with thinning hair.

“That interview could have taken place any time in the last two months,” Brand said. “It was probably no more ‘Live’ than the women’s gymnastics finals in the Beijing Olympics. If only he had been holding up a newspaper so we knew what day he had last been contacted by the media.”

Anyone who has knowledge of Obama’s whereabouts, or who has seen or heard from him in the past 72 hours, is urged to contact the proper authorities, or if they are unavailable, Geraldo Rivera.