American Airlines Announces $7 Lavatory Charge in Coach

Taking a cue from rival JetBlue’s new $7 charge for a blanket and pillow, American Airlines today announced that it would begin charging $7 for the use of lavatories in the economy section on all domestic flights, effective immediately.

Lavatories would remain free in first and business class sections of flights.

“When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go,” John Silvester, American Airlines’ Director of Passenger Services, told a hastily arranged Dallas news conference. “And despite the recent dip in oil prices, we’ve got to go to this.”

American becomes the first domestic airline to charge for lavatory services, Silvester said, “although we assume our competitors are watching and waiting for the public’s response, as is usually the case in our marketplace. If this charge sticks, we have no doubt that United and USAir and everyone else will follow suit.”

Silvester said that the additional fee was necessary due to the increasingly high cost of maintaining the lavatories. “Our planes are spending more and more time on the tarmac,” he said. “Which means that more people are getting up and going to the little boys’ or little girls’ room. It all adds up.”

Silvester said that in order to make the fee more acceptable to the flying public, American would be upgrading its lavatories and making them “more elegant, like a nice private bathroom in a five-star hotel. We’re putting in elegant fixtures, marble sinks, high-powered mirrors, and other touches that focus groups have indicated as most desirable. Those flimsy plastic toilet seats will be a thing of the past.”

The bathrooms will actually be cleaned at least once during the course of the flight, Silvester said. In addition, an attendant will be present in the lavatory in order to assist with a new array of towels, colognes, aftershave, and mints.

“Tipping is entirely optional,” Silvester assured reporters, “although the attendants in the lavatory will be unpaid. We’re leaving that up to our patrons.”

Silvester said that the lavatories would be activated by a credit card slide that would charge the passenger either $7 per use or a flat $15 fee for unlimited use of the lavatories during a given flight.

“In addition,” Silvester said, “we’re offering a bonus of 500 AAdvantage miles to each passenger who uses the new system. So every time you get up and go, you’ll be able to get up and go to more places.”