The Israeli government has announced a new lottery with a dual purpose: to resolve the nation’s budget deficit and to fill the leadership gap created by the resignation of scandal-plagued Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.
“All Israelis believe they know more about running the government than the government itself,” government spokesman Shlomo Ben-Agram told a hastily assembled Jerusalem news conference. “Now they can put their money where their mouth is.”
The lottery tickets, which will cost 5 New Israeli Shekels (approximately $1.50) will permit the winner to assume all the rights and responsibilities of the Prime Minister’s office, for a 24-hour period. This includes the right to negotiate and conclude peace treaties with Israel’s neighbors, solve the dilemma of conflicts regarding land on the West Bank, and settle the issue of Jerusalem’s governance as a multi-religious city.
“We politicians are sick and tired of hearing how stupid we are,” Ben-Agram told reporters. “If the people think running this country is so easy, let them try it.”
There would be no limits on the power that the Prime Ministers For A Day would enjoy. They would be free, Ben-Agram said, to devaluate the shekel, withdraw Israel from the United Nations, end compulsory military service, or anything else they wanted, subject to the decisions made by the Prime Minister For A Day who comes next.
At the same time, the Israeli government expects to earn millions of shekels from the sales of the lottery tickets, enough to balance the budget for the first time in eleven years.
“Quite frankly,” Ben-Agram said, “this program is so similar to the way the Israeli government has operated for the last three decades, that you’d be hard-pressed to notice anything different. Our only concern is what happens if an Arab wins. But quite frankly, how much more damage could they do to our country than the people who are already running it?”
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