A visibly distraught Idaho Senator Larry Craig today told a hastily assembled Minneapolis news conference that he would spend the entire Republican Convention in the men's room of the Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport where he was arrested for lewd conduct last summer.
"He never calls, he never writes," Sen. Craig said, speaking of the Minnesota State Trooper who arrested him in a "sting" operation in a men's room known for homosexual conduct.
"I was thinking I'd go to the convention and everything," Sen. Craig said. "But once I got to the airport I was just filled with sadness. He's a very warm, very handsome man, the guy who arrested me. I will never forget his quiet strength and dignity as he read me my Miranda rights.
"I really thought we had something beautiful going on between us. But I haven't heard from him. Not once. Not even at the arraignment."
Sen. Craig was not scheduled to speak at the Republican Convention, due to the Party's embarrassment over his arrest and his failure to keep his word with regard to resigning his office.
"The only reason I keep hanging on in the Senate," Sen. Craig told reporters, "is that I think my position as U.S. Senator would be very impressive to a man who is a State Trooper. I could do wonders for his career. If only he'd call."
Sen. Craig said that he will spend the entire period of the Convention "in the same bathroom, in the same stall. If he wants to find me, he knows where I'll be. It could be the beginning of something beautiful. But it takes two to tango. If he doesn't show up, then I'm moving on."
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