Brett Favre Not Informed Of Trade to Jets; Packer Spokesman: “Please Don’t Tell Him”

Legendary Packers quarterback Brett Favre has not been informed of his trade yesterday to the New York Jets, and the Packers “want it to stay that way,” Packers spokesman Dolph Blodgren told a hastily assembled Green Bay, Wisconsin news conference.

“We think it’s in Brett’s best interest not to know that he has been traded,” Blodgren told reporters. “He is deeply devoted to our team, but we have made a choice to move on with quarterback Aaron Rodgers. So we’ve traded him to another team with a green uniform, the uniform that most closely resembles ours in the entire NFL. If you encounter Mr. Favre, please do not explain to him that he no longer plays for Green Bay. It could be too psychologically devastating for him.”

Blodgren told reporters that the Jets were taking steps to maintain the illusion that Favre is still playing in Green Bay. “Giants Stadium will be redesigned to look like Lambeau Field,” Blodgren said. “Jets fans have been asked to stop urinating on each other, or on players, during games. And the Jets players have been instructed to talk about ice fishing, deer hunting, and cheese.”

Blodgren pointed out that it would only take one slip, by a reporter, player, or fan, well-meaning or otherwise, for the entire charade to fall apart. “We’re hoping for 100% cooperation from everyone involved even tangentially with the NFL. It would break Brett’s heart if he knew he was playing for the Jets. I mean, my God, the Jets. It was either this or trade him to the Saskatchewan Roughriders of the Canadian Football League, whose uniform also looks like ours.”

“Brett doesn’t deserve to play for the Jets,” Blodgren said. “No one does. He’d be furious with us and heartbroken if he learns the truth. So we’ve got our fingers crossed that he never finds out.”