Obama Names Gandhi As Veep

In a surprise move, Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama today named the late Mahatma Gandhi of India as his running mate.

Sen. Obama told a hastily assembled Denver news conference that 'The U.S. Constitution says that only American-born live people can be present. Doesn't say anything about dead people."

Sen. Obama said he based his choice on Gandhi's track record on foreign policy.

"Freeing a subcontinent from the imperialistic British is an achievement none of the live people we considered can match," Sen. Obama said. "You kind of have to take your hat off to the guy."

Sen. Obama told reporters that Gandhi polled well with red state voters because he was "seen as older and wiser, and that he believed in limited government, and because he was one of the leading figures of the 20th century."

When asked whether he saw the late Mahatma's inability to campaign for the ticket as a detriment to the campaign, Sen. Obama vigorously disagreed.

"When was the last vice presidential candidate who made a meaningful contribution to any race?" he asked rhetorically. "To be honest, I didn't want anyone to distract from me."

Reporters would have asked other questions regarding the unlikely choice, but they were too busy prostrating themselves and touching the hem of Sen. Obama's garment, hoping to be healed. The late Mahatma was unavailable for comment.