Report: DNC Rejects Obama's Speech Theme Of "I Need A Nap"

A highly placed Democratic National Committee leader today announced that the DNC had rejected Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama's proposed theme for his speech, "I Need A Nap."

The speech coincides with the 44th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King's famous "I Have A Dream" speech; Sen. Obama reportedly sought to update the sleeping theme by talking about how tiresome modern life has become.

"When I think about how our nation has become divided between red states and blue states," Sen. Obama was to have begun his speech, "I get so tired, I need a nap.

"When I think about the War in Iraq, how poorly it was thought out and how terrible the results have been, I need a nap.

"When I think about the economy in tatters, hardworking people losing their homes in the mortgage crisis, four-dollar-a-gallon gas, and a recession with no end in sight, I need a nap.

"When I think about John McCain carrying on the failed legacy of the Bush administration for four more years, I truly need a nap.

"Yes, my fellow Americans, the country is Bushed, and I need a nap.

"We all need a nap, so that we can wake up refreshed from this national nightmare and create change we can all believe in, instead of a McCain Administration that he--and we--would all sleep through.

"When I think about how hard the campaign will be over the next ten weeks, I need a nap.

"When I think about the fact that the Democratic Convention has tied me to all of the political baggage of the past, from Chapaqiddick to Travelgate, from Monica Lewinsky to the missing Rose Law Firm files, from John Kerry to Michael Dukakis, I need a nap.

"Fortunately, my running mate Joe Biden makes a Fidel Castro speech look like an instant message from a 14-year-old cutting social studies, so I'll have plenty of time to nap when he's making speeches.

"But when it comes down to it, this whole business of running for President is so tiresome that I can't wait to get back to my hotel room and nap, maybe even for an hour or two.

"And if I nap, I might just have a dream. And if I have a dream, I'll let you know. Thank you and good night."

The spokesman for the DNC told the Dissociated Press that the speech that Sen. Obama proposed, based on the "I Need A Nap" theme, would be scrapped in favor of "the 'Yes, We Can' stuff that polls so well. Just because he needs a nap doesn't mean we all need one."