Google Launches GoogleTax, Eliminating the IRS

Google today launched its newest service, GoogleTax, which corporate spokesman Paul Martland said would "eliminate the I.R.S. as we know it."

Under GoogleTax, all Americans would estimate their own taxes on a Google tax calculator, based on a Google-supplied algorithm combining an income tax rate of 14%, a consumption tax of 5%, and no deductions. They would then use Paypal to pay the amount into a Google-managed trust fund, eliminating the I.R.S.'s role in the collection and disbursement of taxes.

"The plan offers many important features," Martland told a hastily assembled Mountain View, California news conference. "First, it's a combination of a flat tax with a VAT tax, which we call a "Phat Tax," to give it a hip-hop or D.Y.I. feel.

"Second, the I.R.S. doesn't control the money. We do. So people can vote on the GoogleTax gadget, which you can have on your Google home page, whether you want to fund a particular government initiative or not. So we can withhold money for unpopular things, like the war in Iraq or things like that."

When asked whether it would be illegal for Americans to fail to pay their taxes to the I.R.S., Martland replied, "They'd have a hard time arresting all of us. We're just applying the concept of social networking to taxation. It's about moving from hierarchy to letting the people decide.

"Before long," Martland said, "if this takes off, people will be saying there are only two things you can count on in this world--death and Google."