McCain Names, Promptly Forgets Name of Running Mate

“I have chosen as my Vice Presidential running mate…” Senator John McCain today told a hastily assembled Phoenix news conference, before lapsing into confused silence.

“I’ve got it on me somewhere,” Sen. McCain told reporters as he embarrassedly searched his suit jacket and pants for the slip of paper containing the name of the individual who will run for Vice President on the Republican ticket.

“I mean, I put it in my pocket last night, before we left the house and headed for the airport,” a befuddled McCain told the media, as he continued to search in his wallet for the elusive slip of paper.

“I made up my mind yesterday afternoon, while my wife and I were at one of our condos,” McCain explained, digging feverishly through a large number of napkins, business cards, credit card receipts, and other scraps of paper in his pockets.

“Then I knew I might forget,” McCain admitted, “so I put it in the pocket of the suit, or maybe the shirt, that I intended to wear today. I must have left that suit on the bed and then worn a different one. So the name is on the piece of paper, which must be back in my condo.”

The reporters waited patiently while McCain carefully put all of the pieces of paper back into his pockets. The Senator then stared into space, whistling a few bars of “I’ve Got You Under My Skin,” and then asked for questions.

“Do you remember which home of yours you were at last night?” a reporter asked Sen. McCain. “Because maybe you could get somebody to go check.”

Sen. McCain nodded gratefully at the questioner. “Great idea,” the Senator said, “but, um, I don’t remember which condo we were in. It was really nicely decorated, though. And I think it had a view of mountains. And I remember I was sitting on the deck…so it must be one of my condos with a deck…and suddenly we heard a buzzing noise, and my wife said, ‘Look! A bee!’”

The Senator paused in mid-reflection and told reporters, “Look, a bee…look, a bee…oh, that’s it. Huckabee. I picked Huckabee.”

The Senator paused again.

“But does anyone remember what I picked him for?” he asked, to reporters who remained respectfully silent.