Frustrated McCain Plans Own Trip To Counter Obama's

A clearly frustrated Sen. John McCain today announced his own 6-nation trip to counter the astonishingly successful Mideast/European voyage that gave Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama a huge bump in polls.

McCain told a hastily assembled Phoenix news conference that his first stop would be Canada, where he would speak to a small gathering of Eskimos and take some time out to refill some of his prescriptions in Winnepeg, since Canadian drug prices are considerably cheaper than those in the U.S.

The Republican Presidential candidate will travel next to Mexico, where he will speak to a small gathering of chicken farmers, and take time out for a new series of Botox injections at a clinic outside Tijuana, since Mexican medical procedures are considerably cheaper than those in the U.S.

McCain will travel next to Cuba, where he will address a small gathering of Cuban cigar workers, and will take time out to purchase some Cuban cigars, which are unavailable in the United States.

The Republican Senator will travel next to Jamaica and address a small gathering of ganja rollers, and will take time out to purchase and try out some real Jamaican ganja, which is unavailable legally in the United States, in order to appear more "relevant" to young voters.

McCain will travel next to Costa Rica, to address a small gathering of hotel workers, and will take time out to enjoy a few days of snorkeling, since Costa Rican resorts cost considerably less than those in the United States.

The Senator will conclude his trip in the Falkland Islands, where he will address a small gathering of veterans of the 1982 war with Great Britain, and will take time out to declare that military action is always the best answer, even when a country like the Falklands, or the United States, has absolutely no chance of winning.

When asked whether the Senator's trip was really an excuse to enjoy a vacation, forget about his sputtering, increasingly irrelevant campaign for a while, and save money on prescription drugs, Cuban cigars, hotel rooms, Botox, and ganja, McCain offered a terse "No comment."