Report: Many Olympic Hopefuls Have Heartwarming Personal Stories

Many athletes hoping to compete this summer on the U.S. Olympic Team in Beijing have heartwarming personal stories, a USA Olympics spokesperson told a hastily assembled Colorado Springs news conference, and many have even “overcome long odds” to make the team.

“Our athletes come from broken homes, divorced homes, and in a few cases, no homes at all,” Martha Segerstrom told reporters. “Some of them actually grew up in large cardboard boxes amid the tumbleweeds adjacent to their running tracks.”

“One of our athletes won a marathon in high school on two broken legs, while pushing his ailing grandmother in a wheelchair,” Segerstrom said. “I mean, how heartwarming is that?”

Other athletes “grew up in unheated log cabins in northern Minnesota,” Segerstrom noted, “did not eat until they were nine years old, were abused by their entire communities, and another was not allowed to speak until she was 12. And yet, now they’re on their way to represent America in Beijing.”

Segerstrom heatedly denied accusations that the touching stories of the athletes’ lives had been exaggerated, in order to draw attention to the Summer Olympics, which typically lose out in ratings battles to shows like American Idol and Survivor.

The Summer Olympics mostly focuses on sports to which Americans pay little attention, including track and field, equestrian events, and swimming. Some observers have suggested that the touching and heartwarming personal stories have been enhanced in order to create rapport between television viewers and unknown athletes.

“It’s not about ratings,” Segerstrom insisted. “It’s about letting Americans know that when it comes to athletes who have been gone through hell to get to the Olympics, countries like China and Russia have nothing on us.”