Bush, Behind on White House Mortgage Payments, Bails Self Out

A little-noticed rider on the mortgage bailout bill provides specific relief to President George W. Bush and Laura Bush, who fell six months behind on their mortgage payments on the White House and were in danger of foreclosure.

“No matter what we think of the President,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D, Left Coast), “we can’t have him evicted from the White House because of his inability to pay the mortgage.”

The President lost much of his savings in the Enron disaster, and recently lost most of his income due to an email he received from a former government officer in Ethiopia, who convinced President Bush to invest over $7 million in what turned out to be an oil-related scam. In addition, the Bushes had entered into a no-document, adjustable rate mortgage with a balloon payment that they can no longer afford to maintain.

“The Bushes are basically broke,” Speaker Pelosi told reporters. “It’s kind of tragic. Safeguards have been put in place, such as not allowing the President to answer any more email. But they also have a serious problem with their mortgage, so Congress had to do something special for them.”

The rider on the mortgage bailout bill will pre-pay the Bushes’ mortgage through the end of their second term in addition to taking care of the arrears in their payments.

“We can’t let a couple this important be kicked to the curb,” Speaker Pelosi said.

When asked why the bailout bill preserved the financial resources of the very mortgage companies that had caused the lending crisis, while ignoring the families who are the victims of those companies’ illegal actions, Speaker Pelosi offered a terse “No comment.”