“My bad,” a chagrined President George W. Bush today told a hastily assembled West Wing news conference. “I got caught up in the baseball standings and I just started vetoing everything in sight.”
The President had recently invoked executive privilege to keep secret an FBI interview with Vice President Dick Cheney with regard to the “outing” of CIA operative Valerie Plame.
“That Plame thing just put me in a negative mood,” the President admitted. “Once you start saying no to one thing, you just end up saying no to everything. It’s like when your little kids start pestering you for stuff. Eventually you just want them to just get out of the room and let you watch the game.”
In a two-day period, the President vetoed 6 bills, including a farm bill, a Medicare bill, and a bill to continue the funding of the Iraq War, on behalf of all of which he had lobbied strenuously.
The President also wielded his veto pen to nullify the sports section of the Washington Post, a White House lunch menu, a request from an 11-year-old for an autograph, a love note from his wife, and the entire continent of Africa.
“The Africa thing was definitely a mistake,” the President admitted. “I urge Congress to override my veto and restore the African continent immediately.”
Asked by reporters whether he had plans to veto anything else, the President quipped, “Yeah, that amendment or whatever it is to the Constitution that only lets me have two terms. Those two guys running for my job? They’re even less qualified than I am. And if that doesn’t scare America, then nothing I can say ever will.”
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