Online auction giant eBay, fighting slumping revenue due to lost brand names including Dior, Guerlain, Givenchy and Kenzo, today reversed its position and permitted listings regarding white slavery and adoption.
"Now you can find who you want, not just what you want," Larry Kendle, an eBay spokesman told reporters at a hastily assembled Palo Alto news conference. "We now happily list adults with whom you can do whatever you please, as long as you come to mutually acceptable financial terms. And we're also committed to being the world's largest aftermarket for adoptable kids."
The typical eBay listing process will apply in both areas, Kendle explained. "People who want to offer themselves into a longterm paid physical relationship agreement, also known traditionally as white slavery, can list photos and accounts of what they like to do.
"As for children, we will list children the same way we list, say, toasters or iPhones. New, used, North American, worldwide--whatever people are looking for in an adopted child, they'll find it on eBay. And without the international travel, forms to fill out, high fees, or intrusive interviews that the traditional adoption process entails."
Kendle described the two new listings sections as "a human equivalent of eBay Motors. We were chagrined by the French court's decision to delist so many top brand names, so we needed something to do to bolster revenues. eBay is all about bringing people closer together. Now we're really bringing people closer. Way closer."
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