Paris Hilton, buoyed by the positive publicity she received as a result of her porn video, announced at a hastily assembled Bel Air, California news conference that she is going to market herself as a “human timeshare.”
“Why should sleeping with an internationally famous heiress be a privilege limited to the wealthy and powerful?” she asked. “I’m going to combine the branding magic of the Hilton Hotel name with the proven concept of the vacation timeshare. Now anyone with a Visa card can spend up to eight days a year with me on my yacht.”
Hilton said that Thanksgiving and Christmas weeks have already been taken. “But there’s still plenty of time left in summer and early fall,” she said, “when the kids are away at camp or starting school. We intended to launch this product for Father’s Day, but we missed the window. We think that it’s the perfect birthday or anniversary gift for any man.”
The beauty of the human timeshare concept, Hilton told reporters, is that “If you get tired of me one year, you can trade your days for any of a few dozen other heiresses whom you can preview on my website. Or you can sell them online.”
Hilton’s other business ventures, including perfume and a women’s clothing line, “have yet to become as profitable as we might have hoped,” the heiress admitted. “So I’ve decided to go back to the thing I know best.”
“It worked for Heidi Fleiss,” Hilton said. “And she’s from a pretty good family, too, right?”
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment