Sunday, June 29, 2008

Rally to Protest High Gas Prices Cancelled, Due to High Gas Prices

A proposed Washington, D.C. protest against the soaring cost of gasoline has been cancelled, due to the soaring cost of gasoline, a spokesman told a hastily assembled Washington, D.C. news conference.

“People can’t afford to drive here and protest,” Michael Adams, organizer of the Million Mile March, told reporters. “They can’t even afford bus fare.”

Spiking gas costs have already begun to change the way Americans live, Adams said, cutting into the ability of ordinary citizens to drive their cars to work or school, and taking an increasingly large bite out of their budgets.

“Combine this with the housing crisis and you don’t have a Million Mile March,” Adams told reporters. “You have a million mile mess.”

Adams said that if gas prices continues their stubborn rise, Americans would have to make additional changes in their lifestyle, including “quitting jobs for which they have long commutes, leaving the cash economy for a barter system based on smooth rocks and shiny stones, and heating their homes with peat.”

A spokesman for the oil industry said that oil industry executives were unavailable for comment, because they were all out on their yachts, gorging themselves on caviar and Champagne.

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